Amtrack AEEM7 Railroad Unknown

Model Description:
You'll be sure to have minutes of fun and seconds of enduring agony when you experience this upcoming exclusive model. Based on a design of several small pieces of construction paper and engineered from the latest in glue technology, this ultra-bright and innovative locomotive will fit perfectly into your favorite scenery-devoid route! With a custom cab and semi-realistic sounds, we're sure you want to miss this outstanding and eagerly-awaited model!
      
As the designer says, "you'll be hard-pressed to distinguish this exclusive screenshot from an actual prototype pic!" Read these random quotes from actual people:

I'd love to hold onto it...
   -- Chuck Schneider

Look at that detail!... Even down to the weeds growing
between the rails! And what of those sound effects!
   -- Matt Vince

The details are so grate, it must be grovled by
people!...Long Live the AEM-7!
    -- Alexander Nhtrain

I laughed and laughed and laughed and then I noticed
what looked like big eyes and big lips...and then I
laughed and laughed and laughed...
  -- Michael MacFall

OH MY GOD ... PLEASE SIGN HIM UP AS CHIEF
DESIGNER!...Thanks!
   -- Kelley D. Ellison, CSX-A Line Chief Lighting Engineer

I love it!!! ...I would say more...when is it going to be
available for download? ...we need this...
   -- Tim

This superb model will be available, complete with a sample consist, as soon as the rest of this particular dimension ultimately converges with the world of "The Simpsons", estimated to occur sometime between May 2012 and June 2092. Keep your last functioning eye open for it...

Specifications
What? Are You Kidding?
    Height about that high
    Length about that long
    Width ?
    Power 0 hp
    Weight .35 oz.
    Max. Speed: Depends on Wind
Prime Mover
    Air
    RPM: not likely
    BMEP: don't even know what it means

Credit:
Albert Einstein
Bob Barker
David Byrne
David Lynch
Hal David
(insert your name here)
Florence Henderson
U-Haul Corporation
Matt Groenig (under protest)

© 2002 North American Locomotive Works. All rights reserved